


good lord turned his back on me

by Lise



Series: Where the Devil Don't Go [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: (sort of), Canon Divergence - Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Gen, I Didn't Mean For This to Get So Out of Hand But Here We Are, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, POV Outsider, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Sexual Slavery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 15:10:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20584559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lise/pseuds/Lise
Summary: Thor and a contingent of Asgardian refugees have arrived on Earth. They brought Loki with them.Something fishy is going on, and Natasha is determined to find out what.





	good lord turned his back on me

**Author's Note:**

> So I guess we're gonna just...keep going, aren't we? This train is off the rails and careening wildly down a hill and I have no idea where it will stop. We're all on this ride together! There's at least...one other fic lurking in my head for this verse. I expect I'll probably end up with more. 
> 
> Anyway - I forget who exactly gave me the prompt that led to this fic, but it was one that caught my attention and demanded to be written. Not this, exactly - I debated about which POV I wanted to use, and being me seriously considered going with Steve - but ultimately Natasha felt right. 
> 
> This fic is...maybe not as _directly_ dark as some of the others, but it's very much set in the same universe and the same content is still there, just set at one remove. Be mindful.
> 
> Immense thanks as always to my [beta](http://ameliarating.tumblr.com), who edits my fic even when she's studying on another continent.

Natasha found out that Thor would be coming back to Earth, accompanied by a substantial number of his people, the same way most people did: the news. She couldn’t help but be a little offended, even knowing there was no real way that Thor could’ve gotten in touch with them. She wondered if he’d reached Tony; if he already knew about the Accords and everything that had gone down. 

The news did _not _explain why Thor was bringing a caravan of Asgardians to Earth. It did provide a lot of people talking loudly about how upset they were about it.

“What do you think he’s up to?” Natasha asked Steve. He glanced at her sidelong.

“I’m not sure,” he said. “But I wouldn’t bet on it being _good _news.”

* * *

It wasn’t. Apparently Asgard had been destroyed - as in, the entire planet - by Thor’s hitherto unknown homicidal sister. (“You really have shit luck in siblings, don’t you,” Natasha said, and Thor winced.) She’d also stabbed out one of Thor’s eyes and slaughtered a large number of Asgardians.

No real surprise that Thor looked stressed, and exhausted, and unhappy.

“I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go,” he said, not quite apologetic. “Though I understand that there is some...difficulty.”

“Little bit,” Sam said under his breath. “Just the usual xenophobia_._” Thor glanced at him but seemed to decide to ignore not to comment. He didn’t look like he was done, though. He looked like he was chewing on something, trying to decide whether or not to say it. 

“Spit it out,” Steve said. “What else is there?” 

“You have to promise not to do anything drastic,” Thor said after a long pause. “The situation is...complicated.”

“What situation,” Steve said, frowning. Thor glanced over his shoulder, then heaved a noisy sigh.

“Loki’s with me,” he said quickly, like if he got the words out fast they might land a little lighter. 

“I misheard that,” Sam said. “_Who’s _with you?” 

“Loki,” Thor said. He didn’t look happy. 

“I thought he was dead,” Natasha said.

“So did I,” Thor said. “I was wrong. But things are - things are different now. He is. And I will swear to you - on anything you choose - that he intends your Realm no harm, and is not a danger to you.” He sounded so earnest. So absolutely convinced, though his expression wavered a bit in the face of unanimous skepticism. 

“Thor…” Steve said slowly. “No offence, but you’re not really the most unbiased when it comes to Loki. And he’s tricked you before.”

Thor shook his head, something pinching in his expression. “Not this time,” he said. 

“Can you give us a little more than that?” Natasha asked. “Why are you so sure?” 

Thor fell silent, visibly struggling with what to say. At length he shook his head. “I am sorry,” he said, “but it is between me and Loki. I can only give you my word, and ask for your faith in me.”

Ultimately, it wasn’t like there was a lot they could do, otherwise. If they weren’t going to try to kick Thor and his people off Earth, or turn him in to the government for harboring Loki…

“All right, Thor,” Steve said. “We’ll take your word for it.”

* * *

It wasn’t that Natasha didn’t trust Thor’s judgment - except that, well, in this one area, she didn’t. Thor wasn’t stupid, but Loki was Loki. 

So she went to investigate for herself. 

It wasn’t that hard to sneak into the Asgardian camp. She hardly even had to try. Then it was just a matter of finding the god himself. 

Easier said than done, it turned out. The encampment wasn’t all that big, and she would have expected Loki to be very visible - that had seemed like his M.O. back in 2012. That clearly wasn’t the case now, though. It occurred to her that maybe Thor had him locked down somewhere, and that was why he was so sure of Loki’s harmlessness.

She was starting to wonder if Loki was even _here _or if Thor had him squirreled away somewhere else entirely when she caught sight of him out of the corner of her eye. He was talking to the man Thor had introduced as his second-in-command, Heimdall. She didn’t move, keeping half an eye on him without turning fully, trying to assess. 

The first thing she noticed was that he was trying to make himself small. 

Not literally - he was standing up perfectly straight. But even so, he had that look to him, like he was trying to project an air of taking up as little space as possible. Loki was better at it than Natasha would’ve thought, too. Spies were good at that, trained for it, but they weren’t the real experts. 

Battered women. Abused children. People who spent a great deal of time around someone who had power over them, whose attention was dangerous and very presence was a threat. They learned how to do it best, that self-diminishment, out of need.

Natasha frowned to herself. 

Walking carefully to keep her face turned out of Loki’s eyeline, and hoping that he wouldn’t think to look for a blonde, she moved to a different vantage point in the hopes that she could overhear some of what he was saying to Heimdall. 

“-can’t _you _tell him,” Loki said. His tone was a mixture of frustration and pleading. “He listens to you.”

“He listens to you, too,” Heimdall said, level and measured. 

Loki twitched, then shook his head. “I would rather this didn’t come from me. Thor respects you. He values your advice.”

“Don’t try to flatter me, Prince Loki.” 

Loki twitched again, more violently. “I am not,” he said quickly. “I am only saying what is true-”

“Be that as it may, I am still not going to ferry your misgivings to your brother,” Heimdall said. “And certainly not about this.” 

Loki pressed his fingers to his temples like he was developing a headache. “Fine,” he said. “Fine.”

“Forgive me if I am too bold,” Heimdall said. By his tone Natasha suspected the words were anything but sincere. “But I daresay you should just speak to him yourself.”

“You know what he’ll say,” Loki said heavily. 

“I suspect so,” Heimdall said. “His Majesty is not, despite what you have so often called him, an idiot.” 

There was that quick _flinch _again. “I know it,” Loki said. Natasha couldn’t see the look on his face, but she did see the frown on Heimdall’s. He looked like he was about to say something, but before he could, Loki said, “we’ll speak later, then,” and - vanished. Natasha almost jumped. 

Heimdall did not look surprised. He did look both frustrated and a little disappointed, at least for a moment before his face cleared and he moved off. Natasha took the cue to extract herself as well, pulling apart the conversation she’d overheard. 

Of course, there wasn’t much she could make from it. Loki wanted Thor to do something, but didn’t want the ask to come from him, because Thor would refuse. But based on his reaction, Heimdall didn’t seem to think it was something dangerous, or harmful. 

That still left a fair amount of room, though. Natasha had no idea, really, what Heimdall might consider dangerous or harmful; she’d only met him briefly, barely exchanged names, and Asgardian standards were...well, Thor was willing to forgive his brother attempting to kill him multiple times like it was a minor family spat, and no one else seemed to be complaining about it. 

So: not necessarily reassuring. 

She needed more information.

* * *

“Why don’t you just ask Thor?” Steve asked, when Natasha called him to tell him she was going to stay on Loki for a little while. 

“I doubt he’d give me a straight answer,” she said. “He wasn’t exactly forthcoming when we asked before.”

Steve grimaced. “You could tell him what you overheard.”

“I’m not sure he’d like me spying on his brother, either,” Natasha said. She rocked forward on her toes and then back. “I have a bad feeling about this.” 

“Bad how?” Steve said, and she could tell he was paying full attention. She shook her head.

“I’m not quite sure. And I don’t want to jump to any conclusions. But I’d really like to know what Thor left out about what they were up to over the past fourteen months.”

“You think something happened?” 

“I know something did,” Natasha said. “I just don’t know what.”

* * *

Loki wasn’t an easy person to follow. He seemed to spend a lot of time keeping to himself. She did figure out where he was staying and wondered if he’d notice a bug if she planted one. Watching Loki walk out, though, she noticed him touch the doorknob and a brief shimmer of green, so she decided it was unlikely she could even get inside to begin with. 

After a few days of observation, Natasha didn’t have much to work with. When Loki interacted with other Asgardians, he was distant and removed, but polite. He was tense, visibly nervous most of the time. He had a nervous tic that involved rubbing the side of his neck under his high collar.

She had a lot of hints, but so far, they weren’t adding up to much.

On the fourth day, she approached Valkyrie. Natasha knew her by sight, and by name (or was it title?), but they hadn’t actually been introduced. 

“Hi,” she said. “I’m Natasha. I’m a friend of Thor’s. Can I talk to you?” 

Valkyrie stared at her for several seconds. “Thor know you’re here?” she asked. 

“Does he need to?” Natasha asked. Valkyrie nodded a little. She had a slouch to her bearing that didn’t manage to mask the fact that she knew how to fight and could probably snap a tree in half if she put her mind to it. 

“Suppose not. All right, what do you want?” 

Natasha tapped her fingers on her thigh. “Can I ask that you keep this conversation to yourself?” 

Valkyrie didn’t quite look suspicious, but she looked like she was thinking about it. “That kind of depends on what it’s about.” 

“What do you know about Loki’s history on this planet?” Natasha asked bluntly. Valkyrie’s eyebrows twitched.

“Nothing detailed. That it wasn’t friendly and we’re not advertising the fact that he’s here.”

“Thor told us,” Natasha said. “But he was...reticent about some things.” 

Valkyrie’s expression did something strange. “Figures,” she said. “Thor’s a little...protective of him. So he’s what you want to talk about?” Her tone was hard to read.

“Yes,” Natasha said. “But I’d rather you didn’t tell Thor. Like you said, he’s protective. I don’t want him to think I mean Loki any harm.” 

“So you don’t,” Valkyrie said. 

“I don’t,” Natasha said. She didn’t, not right now, but that could change.

“All right,” Valkyrie said. “Sure. Fine. What’s your question?” 

“What’s his role, here?” Natasha asked. Valkyrie shrugged.

“Like the rest of us,” she said, “whatever needs doing, mostly. He’s part of our…’council’ with Heimdall, Thor, and me. If you’re asking what he does in his free time, I don’t know. We don’t talk much.” 

“Not friends, huh?” Natasha said.

“Not really, no.” Valkyrie eyed her sideways. “If you’re beating around the bush, come out and say it. I don’t have the patience for that shit.”

“I’m just trying to get a sense of who he is,” Natasha said. “Last we saw of Loki, he was pretty different than he seems to be now.”

“Yeah,” Valkyrie said. “Probably.” She seemed, suddenly, uncomfortable. “I don’t know what to tell you. Like I said, we don’t talk much.”

She found it interesting that Valkyrie hadn’t suggested Natasha talk to Loki herself. It was like she didn’t want her to. The same way Thor didn’t seem to want any of them to talk to Loki, either. 

What were they worried would happen if someone did?

* * *

Observing from a distance wasn’t getting her very far. 

Maybe she needed to get closer. Watching wasn’t cutting it. Time to step it up a notch.

She waited until Loki left his house in the morning, then sat down on the front porch to wait.

He came back close to dusk, his head down like he was exhausted. “Hey, Loki,” Natasha called as she stood, and he stopped dead, his head snapping up.

Loki tensed, but not like he was going to attack. His eyes flicked over her from head to toe, assessing almost too quick to catch, and then his expression smoothed out and he straightened. 

“Is your observation concluded, then?” he asked. Natasha cocked her head.

“My observation?” 

“That is what you’ve been doing, isn’t it?” he said. Natasha blinked, and could have sworn at herself. She did grimace. 

“You noticed,” she said. Loki made a sort of ‘hm’ noise, half affirmation. “You didn’t call me on it.” 

“No,” Loki said. “I assumed that you needed to make your own assessment, and didn’t see the use in causing a scene.”

Interesting, Natasha thought. She studied him. 

“I thought we should talk,” she said at length. Loki’s expression didn’t so much as twitch.

“If you like.” Waiting for her cue, Natasha thought. How very...cooperative. 

She didn’t know him, Natasha reminded herself. For all she knew, this was what Loki was like most of the time, and what she’d seen in 2012 had been a temporary aberration. But her instincts said something was off, and Natasha knew her instincts were good. She’d lived by them often enough. 

“Thor doesn’t know I’m here,” she said, by way of opening.

“I assumed not,” Loki said. She cocked her head, and he said simply, “he would have warned me.” 

Very interesting. “He seems quite certain that you aren’t a danger to anyone on Earth,” Natasha said. She caught the slightest flicker of Loki’s even mask, but couldn’t tell what the feeling was that caused it. 

“And you want confirmation of that?” Loki said. “I’m afraid nothing _I _could say would be very convincing.” 

Natasha cocked her head to the side. “You’re not even going to try?” 

Loki exhaled quietly. One of his hands rose up toward his neck and then dropped down, and looking at him from the front Natasha realized that there was something _there. _“Would it be sufficient if I said that I’ve learned my lesson?” 

Oh, there were _layers _there. Resigned, and brittle, and just a trace of bitterness. She raised her eyebrows, keeping the rest of her expression neutral. “I’d want a little more than that.” 

Loki pinched the bridge of his nose for just a moment. “Of course you would,” he said, but it sounded more directed at himself than anyone else. He glanced over his shoulder, back toward Thor’s nearby house. “What did _he _tell you?”

“That you’d changed, and meant us no harm,” Natasha said. “But you can understand why I might think he’s a biased observer.” 

Loki’s mouth tugged slightly at one corner. “I can understand.” He considered her, expression unreadable, for several seconds. “No,” he said finally. “I do not think I have anything else to say to you. Do what you need to, Agent Romanoff. I am not going anywhere.” He paused, and then said, “you might ask Banner about Sakaar.”

He went inside, stepping delicately around her, and shut the door quietly. She stared at it, chewing on the inside of her cheek. 

_Banner. _As in _Bruce Banner. _She hadn’t known he was here, either; Thor hadn’t mentioned that, which probably meant Bruce had asked him not to, which almost certainly meant he didn’t want to talk to her or listen to her explanation. She wanted to try anyway, but pulled carefully back from that urge. 

She didn’t really want to provoke him.

There was a name, though. _Sakaar. _It was a lead in this mystery. A thread to pull on.

_What’s going on with you, _Natasha thought at the door. Something was wrong, _off, _and whatever it was, she didn’t trust it. 

* * *

She brought Steve to Asgard to make it look like she’d just shown up, dropped him off helping build a shed, and tracked down Thor.

“What’s Sakaar,” Natasha asked him. Thor went rigid immediately, his eyes sharpening. He really was _terrible _at hiding his feelings.

“A planet,” he said after a beat too long. And then, like he didn’t want to say it, “we were there, before Ragnarok.”

_And when were you going to tell me that Bruce was with you, _she wanted to ask, but she was leaving that one alone.

“What kind of planet?” she asked, like she was innocently curious.

“Not a pleasant one,” Thor said, his voice a little short. “Why do you ask?” 

“I don’t hear a lot about other planets,” Natasha said. “Always been earthbound. It’s just fascinating, the idea of all these other worlds out there, full of life.” 

Thor relaxed, slightly. “Sakaar isn’t one you’d want to visit,” he said. “There are plenty of others, more hospitable. Perhaps someday you will be able to journey to one.” 

“I can only hope,” Natasha said. She paused, pressed her lips together like she was thinking. “Was Loki there with you?” 

Thor tensed again, his eyes narrowing. “Yes,” he said. “He was.” 

“Must be nice,” Natasha said. “Working together with him again. I don’t know if I’d be able to do it. Forgive everything.”

Thor’s expression tightened. “Loki is…” he seemed to be struggling. “Complicated. But we have been brothers much longer than enemies. It has been a relief to have that back.” There was a defensive note in his voice, his fists clenched, and Natasha’s thought was _who are you trying to convince, and of what?_

“You’re a good brother,” Natasha said, and _there. _Guilt. Shame. He broke her gaze - only for a moment and then he looked back, but it was a moment long enough to notice.

“I have not always been,” Thor said after a long pause. “All I can do now is try to be a better one.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” Natasha pushed. Thor shook his head.

“Forgive me, Natasha,” he said, “but you did not know me when I was young.” 

So, Natasha thought when he left, Thor felt guilty about something. This ‘Sakaar’ place was important for some reason, and Thor didn’t want to say why. Loki was acting like all the fight had been beaten out of him. And what was the thing on his neck that she hadn’t quite been able to see?

Puzzle pieces. But she didn’t have any idea what picture they were supposed to make.

* * *

She laid out what she knew to Sam, who gave her a weird look and said, “do you think you’re getting a little obsessive about this?” 

She frowned at him. “We need to know that he’s not going to be a problem.” 

“I think you just want a project,” Sam accused. Natasha drummed her fingers on the table.

“Maybe,” she said. “But I’m making it a useful one.”

Of course, then she got a call from Thor. Well, the call went to Steve, but he handed it to her, face grim, and just said, “Thor wants to talk to you.”

She took it. “Hello?” 

“You didn’t mention that you’d spoken with my brother.” 

Great, Natasha thought. So Loki had spilled the beans on that one. She was a little surprised. “I didn’t,” she said carefully. “It wasn’t a long conversation.” 

“You went behind my back.” 

“Did I need to ask permission?” 

The silence on the other end of the line was ominous. 

“Why are you so upset?” Natasha asked. “Serious question. Why are you angry that I talked to him?” 

She could practically hear him thinking through what he was going to say. “There are things you don’t understand,” he said finally. 

Natasha went low. “Do those things have anything to do with why you’re feeling guilty?” 

This time the silence was practically weighted. She heard someone say something in the background, though she couldn’t make out the words. 

“No,” Thor said loudly. “I will not _leave it._” Loki, Natasha thought. Trying to defuse Thor’s temper? But if he’d told him in the first place- “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing, and it won’t work. Do you hear me? I won’t allow it.” 

“Won’t allow what,” Natasha said, to remind him that she was still on the line. 

“Don’t approach my brother again,” Thor said after a beat, and hung up. Natasha hung up a moment after.

“Huh,” she said. 

“Guess that worked out for you,” Sam said dryly.

Natasha ignored him. It felt like there was just one thing she was missing. One small piece that would make everything fall into place. It was right there, close enough to touch, but she couldn’t quite make it out. Thor’s guilt and defensiveness. Loki’s passivity and exhaustion. A place called Sakaar, and Loki wanted something that Thor refused to give him. 

Just one more piece and she’d know what she was looking at.

* * *

The Valkyrie gave it to her. 

She was a little drunk, which wasn’t _why _Natasha chose to talk to her - she genuinely thought she could like the woman, though she liked her better sober. But drunk was easier. 

“Where’d you come from?” Natasha asked. “How’d you get here?” 

“Long story,” Valkyrie said. “Fucked up. Fucked up some more. Ran into Thor, left Sakaar, ended up here.” She paused. “Not that long, I guess.”

_Sakaar. _There it was again. “I thought you were from Asgard,” she said. “You’re from...Sakaar?”

“Fuck no,” Valkyrie said. “No one is _from _Sakaar. People just end up there. ‘Planet of the lost.’ Planet of trash, more like.” She snorted. 

“Sounds nice,” Natasha said dryly.

“Oh, yeah, it was great,” Valkyrie said. “Least, as long as you stayed in good with the Grandmaster. Bastard, but if you just gave him what he wanted it was fine.” 

Natasha raised her eyebrows. “And what did he want?”

“Booze,” she said. “Entertainment. Sex. He’s not there anymore, though. Slaves revolted, threw him off the planet. Apparently he’s just been cruising around the galaxy since.” 

Natasha cocked her head. “Seems like he’d want his planet back.”

“Honestly? I don’t think he really cares that much.” Valkyrie shrugged. “Like I said. As long as he gets what he wants…”

Natasha wrinkled her nose. She could imagine the type. Too easily. “Bastard sounds like an understatement.” 

“Yeah, well,” Valkyrie said. “Just gotta hope he never gets around to calling in the favor Thor owes him.” 

Natasha sat up inwardly, an electric shock shooting through her. “What’d he do for Thor?” she asked, as casually as the rest of her conversation had been, but Valkyrie stopped dead and glanced toward her, and then winced. 

“Oh, shit,” she said. Natasha just looked at her, and Valkyrie turned a little red. “You fucking _tricked _me.” 

Natasha shook her head. “I didn’t,” she said. “Or I didn’t mean to. But you might as well just tell me now.” 

“Thor’s going to kill me,” Valkyrie muttered to herself. “More to the point, he’s going to kill _you. _He’s a little -_ twitchy, _about this, it’s not exactly...fuck.”

“Why does Thor owe this Grandmaster a favor,” Natasha said, gentling her voice. She didn’t need to make Valkyrie feel like she’d lost. She didn’t want her angry. Valkyrie just looked at her for a while and then rubbed her eyes. 

“Because the Grandmaster gave Loki back,” she said. 

It took Natasha a second. _Slaves revolted. Gave Loki back. _The quiet, contained behavior, feelings locked down deep. Thor’s half-panicked protectiveness. _I’ve learned my lesson. It is between me and Loki._

_What he wants...booze. Entertainment. Sex._

The puzzle came together. Natasha kept her breathing even while she processed that, shifting a few pieces around until they locked into place

“I see,” she said. Valkyrie didn’t look at her. 

“Do you?”

“Yes. I do.” Natasha took a breath through her nose and let it out. 

“Most people don’t know.” Valkyrie’s eyes suddenly looked much clearer and more sober. “Heimdall does. Me. And Thor. I think it should stay that way.”

“Yeah,” Natasha said. “I think you’re right.” Valkyrie looked slightly surprised by her agreement, and Natasha gave her a thin, crooked smile. “I don’t think there’s anything for me to gain by spreading the news.”

“Good,” Valkyrie said after a moment. “Because Thor would kill me if he found out I told you.”

“Can’t have that,” Natasha said. “My lips are sealed.”

* * *

She should leave. Natasha knew that. But she wanted to observe Loki just once more, knowing what she knew now. Loki had been a slave - a sex slave - for at least a significant part of the last year or so. 

It made sense of a lot of things, really. And she believed Thor, now, about Loki’s not being a danger, because she was pretty sure Loki wouldn’t do anything that would risk Thor’s anger. He’d been broken down, broken _in. _Oh, he’d behave, all right. Out of fear of the consequences.

It could be argued that the Grandmaster had done them a favor. 

_Cold, Romanoff, _she thought bitterly, the second that crossed her mind. 

She really wanted to talk to Loki. 

It was a bad idea, she knew. Risking Thor’s wrath, and what did she think she was going to gain for it? She’d gotten what she was looking for: assurance that Loki wasn’t going to hurt anyone. So what more did she want? 

It was that question Natasha pondered as she loitered outside Loki’s house, keeping a weather eye out in case Thor appeared. He didn’t; Loki did, well before she would have expected him to return. He paused when he saw her, then approached.

“I am surprised to see you again,” he said. His eyes were wary, but he didn’t seem concerned about her presence.

“After you told on me and Thor chewed me out?” Natasha said. Loki twitched.

“I didn’t realize he would react as he did.” He sounded almost...apologetic. Natasha kept herself from frowning. “You are his...friend.”

“You’re his brother,” Natasha said smoothly. “It makes sense that he’d be protective.”

“Sometimes more than necessary.” Loki cocked his head to the side, and she caught a glimpse of the thing on his neck - a better look, this time, though she kept her glance brief. Enough to see that it was a black circle that looked like it was embedded in the skin. An uneasy little turn twisted Natasha’s stomach. “What are you looking for, Agent Romanoff?” 

“Just Natasha is fine,” she said. “I’m not going to stand on formality. And…” she hadn’t been planning on honesty, but now that she was here it seemed wrong to lie. Wrong to lie about this, and pretend like she didn’t know when she did. “I wanted to talk to you, if you wouldn’t mind.” 

Loki blinked, and she thought he was surprised. “Talk to me,” he said slowly. She nodded.

“Yes,” Natasha said. “And then I’ll get out of here and leave you alone.” 

“Hm,” Loki said, under his breath, and then said, “if you like. What is it you would say?” 

Natasha nodded at the door. “Can I come in?” 

She would have expected reluctance - Loki, she’d thought, would treasure his privacy. But he simply slipped by her, opened the door, and held it. “If you wish,” he said. “Would you care for anything? Tea, or wine, or…?”

Well, this was surreal. And uncomfortable. “No, thanks,” Natasha said. Loki inclined his head and sat down in one of the chairs, the picture of attentive listening. After a moment’s hesitation, Natasha sat down as well. 

The space was sparse and impersonal, Natasha noticed. There was little gesture toward comfort. 

Natasha considered her words closely, and didn’t look at Loki while she did so. At length she said, “you told me to ask Thor about Sakaar.” 

“I take it you asked?” 

“I did,” Natasha said. “Though he didn’t say much. Didn’t seem like he had any fond memories.”

“I don’t imagine so,” Loki said.

“Why did you tell me to ask?” she said. Loki studied her, though it was hard to read his expression, or imagine what he might be thinking.

He exhaled quietly and his eyes turned away from hers. “You know,” he said. It wasn’t really a question. _Know what, _Natasha could have said, but she wasn’t quite that cruel. 

“Yeah,” she said, and left it at that.

Loki’s eyes closed for just a brief moment. “You have questions.” That wasn’t a question either. 

Natasha pressed her lips together. “No,” she said. “Not really. It seems pretty straightforward.” 

“What does,” Loki said, and it wasn’t quite a challenge in his voice - any fire too muted to be that. She didn’t think he was really challenging _her, _either. She knew what he wanted, though, and thought fast, choosing her words carefully. 

“You were the Grandmaster’s slave,” she said. “Thor got you out. You feel like you owe him.” 

“I was the Grandmaster’s whore,” Loki said. “Because I tried to betray Thor. Again. And I _do _owe him.” He sounded remarkably calm, though there were layers in his voice of self-hatred and shame and a deep but well-buried bitter anger. 

“You tried to betray Thor?” Natasha said.

“Don’t pretend to be surprised,” Loki said. “Of course I did. Thor stopped me, and while I was incapacitated the Grandmaster found me.” He shrugged one shoulder, as though indifferent. “I had betrayed his trust, as he saw it. He felt I needed to repay him.” 

“I see.” That explained the guilt, Natasha thought. Thor thought what had happened to Loki was his fault. Loki didn’t seem to agree. Or maybe he’d just convinced himself that he didn’t. 

Loki who just looked at her, awaiting her verdict. 

“That thing on your neck,” she said. “Is that from him?” 

Loki’s hand rose in that nervous tic she’d seen before. “Yes,” he said. Then paused, and regarded her with eerily blank eyes. “Do you want to see it?” 

Natasha considered declining, but… “yes,” she said. “Please.” 

Loki folded down his collar and turned his head. It was a small disc that was, indeed, embedded in the flesh of his neck. “There is a controller,” Loki said without prompting. “On activation, it causes...pain.” 

“You haven’t removed it,” Natasha said. Her stomach was tight. 

“It can’t be removed without the controlling remote.” Loki said. “The Grandmaster kept it when he let me go.” 

Well, Natasha thought, that was certainly a statement. 

Loki folded the collar of his shirt back up and turned back to face her. Natasha just looked at him for a long time, and then rubbed her eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” she said, and surprised herself a little by meaning it.

She’d surprised Loki, too. “Beg pardon?” 

“I’m sorry,” Natasha repeated. “That this happened to you. Sex trafficking is an ugly business. One of the ugliest.”

Loki stared at her like she’d started speaking in tongues. Natasha just looked levelly back at him. “For what it’s worth,” she said, “I don’t think you’re a danger to us.” Loki’s expression twitched slightly, and she went on. “I don’t think you’ll do anything to upset Thor.”

“I do not intend to,” Loki said after a brief silence. 

Natasha’s lips twisted, but she knew it wouldn’t look like a smile. “You don’t want to risk him giving you back to the Grandmaster.”

Loki went very, very still, and Natasha took another leap, another risk. “Is that why you’re trying to get him to hand you over to Earth’s authorities? Because you figure if you’re going to screw up eventually...better dead than a slave?”

He wanted to lash out at her. She saw it, for just a second: a flash in his eyes, quickly shut away. 

“The thought has crossed my mind,” he said eventually.

“You’re barking up the wrong tree,” Natasha said. “Any prison we tried to put you in, Thor would break you out of.” She paused, and then added, “and I’m not going to enable anyone trying.” His eyes narrowed a notch, and she said, “I figured there was a reason you didn’t seem worried about me calling in the authorities. At first I thought maybe you just knew I wouldn’t because I’m a fugitive myself. Then I thought maybe you just didn’t care if I did.”

Loki’s eyes cut away from her briefly and then back. “Very perceptive,” he said tonelessly. 

“I’m good at my job.” She pressed her palms down into her thighs. “I’ll tell the others to leave you alone.”

Loki didn’t thank her. She hadn’t really expected him to. He just looked at her blankly, and Natasha thought, _Thor really has no fucking clue how to help you, does he. And you’re not going to ask. _

It was a stupid whim. She didn’t really know why she did it. “Do you have a pen and a piece of paper?” she asked. 

Loki frowned faintly, but he rose and brought back a notepad and pen. She scrawled down her phone number, tore off the sheet, and held it out. 

“Here,” she said. “If you want someone to talk to who isn’t family and isn’t from Asgard. My number.” 

Loki didn’t take it. There was a very faint line between his eyebrows. She didn’t lower her arm, just kept it there, waiting. 

“If nothing else,” she said, “you ever want to complain about your brother, I won’t tell anyone.” 

Loki’s expression flickered. “You’re a fool.”

“No one’s ever called me that who didn’t live to regret it,” Natasha said smoothly. 

He took the paper. Tucked it away somewhere she didn’t catch. She stood up.

“Thanks for the talk,” she said. “Have a good evening.” 

Loki didn’t stop her leaving, and she walked away without looking back.


End file.
